I am so tired.
I am over the full time working single mummy caper.
I am especially over working in a office with a bully.
What makes it difficult is that the bully doesn't recognise that the way that she behaves towards others is unacceptable.
I have made a complaint to my general manager this week, after expressing concerns to her and the HR consultant for over 12 months about the behaviour of another general manager as I have. just. had. enough. It was a really difficult decision to do that, and it was only after a colleague told me that he had witnessed me being berated for no reason and that the behaviour was unacceptable, that I decided that this was no longer my problem. Over this time period, I have tried so many different things - looked at her myers briggs and mine, to see how I can better work together with her, I have tried different ways of dealing with inappropriate requests and rudeness, I have tried ways of re-instating physical space (standing up from my desk and walking away when I am being stood over), insisting that I need to put my handbag down and get a cup of coffee when I come in in the morning rather than having to endure table banging about budgets that aren't even my responsbility before I have sat down, physically moved my workstation, ignored her, snapped back, tried to be extra nice - I have tried it all. The person in question has not altered her behaviour at all - inappropriate and imaginary deadlines, being stood over, being shouted at from a distance instead of being approached, or alternatively, having the feeling that I am being watched and turning my head to realise that someone is standing behind me, had my decisions questioned, not had my expertise and experience respected, been undermined and unnecessarily criticised to senior management. All because someone feels threatened. As I sit outside the person's office, refuses to shut her door and has extrordinary voice projection, I have also got an intimate knowledge of the purchase of her house, car, horse, saddle, husband issues, bill payments - you name it!
Do I need to stay in an environment like that? I love what I do for work, and my manager is great, (and has been trying hard to help me deal with this) but I have been coming home feeling sick about work and my relationship with this person. and therefore my quality time with my kids has suffered. My work is also suffering I think and I am working on some huge projects that don't need an emotional wreck driving them. As a single mum with a mortgage, I have no choice not to work, but do I need to work in an environment like this?
I think not, and I think it is time that I start looking around for a new journey. I know that there are other flexible workplaces around, where I will not get in the car at the end of the day in tears and take out my frustrations on my gorgeous kids.
Just needed to get that off my chest.
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7 comments:
Ouch! I hope this gets resolved quickly for you, it sounds like a nightmare!
oh mands, that sounds awful :( must be soemthing in the air too as i know a few who've had to deal with similar lately.
everything crossed for you that you can work soemthing out pronto
Mands that sounds terrible, hopefully you can find something exciting and challenging in a much nicer environment
Hugs to you Mands...hope it works out for you...
PS terrible spelling errors in other comment had to delete it sorry!!!!
Good for you for finally making the complaint official. I'm glad that there are others who could back you up aswell. I hope something works out for you.
Love and hugs gina xxx
Grrr it is so frustrating. Your manager should be helping by raising this with them as an issue. Have you got an HR rep who can go with your manager to discuss it? They won't want to lose you.
Of course I say all that knowing that sometimes the fight just isn't worth it. There are lots of jobs out there and sometimes a change can do wonders!
But you do need to take care of you.
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